50 Worst Song of All Tme


 

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50 Worst Songs - Ever!

Worst Song Title My Song Tab
Diatonic or
Chromatic
Harmonica
Mp3 Portion

50. Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On

Song Tab-D

49. Right Said Fred – I’m Too Sexy

48. The Beatles – Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da Song Tab-D
47. Bryan Adams – The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me is You
46. New Kids on the Block – Hangin’ Tough
45. Ja Rule featuring Ashanti – Mesmerize
44. Meatloaf – I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)
43. Uncle Cracker – Follow Me Song Tab-D
42. Simon and Garfunkel – The Sounds of Silence
41. Billy Joel – We Didn’t Start the Fire
40. Color Me Badd – I Wanna Sex You Up
39. Ricky Martin – She Bangs
38. Rednex – Cotton Eye Joe
37. Gerardo – Rico Suave
36. Master P. featuring Silkk, Feind, Mia X and Mystikal – Make Em Say UHH!    
35. R.E.M. – Happy Shiny People
34. Dan Fogleberg – Longer
33. Aqua – Barbie Girl
32. Will Smith – Wil 2K
31. Crash Test Dummies – Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm    
30. Whitney Houston – The Greatest Love of All
29. Deep Blue Something – Breakfast at Tiffany’s
28. John Mayer – Your Body is a Wonderland
27. Europe – The Final Countdown
26. The Doors – The End
25. Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans and 112 – I’ll Be Missing You
24. Five For Fighting – Superman
23. Corey Hart – Sunglasses at Night
22. Toby Keith – Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)
21. Spin Doctors – Two Princes
20. Lionel Richie – Dancing on the Ceiling
19. Mr. Mister – Broken Wings
18. Chicago – You’re the Inspiration
17. Hammer – Pumps and a Bump
16. 4 Non Blondes – What’s Up?
15. The Rembrandts – I’ll Be There For You
14. Bette Midler – From a Distance
13. Genesis – Illegal Alien
12. The Beach Boys – Kokomo
11. Clay Aiken – Invisible
10. Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder – Ebony and Ivory
9. Madonna – American Life
8. Eddie Murphy – Party all the Time
7. Bobby McFerrin – Don’t Worry Be Happy
 
6. Huey Lewis and the News – The Heart of Rock and Roll
5. Vanilla Ice – Ice Ice Baby
.4. Limp Bizkit – Rollin’
3. Wang Chung – Everybody Have Fun Tonight
2. Billy Ray Cyrus – Achy Breaky Heart
1. Starship – We Built This City
Also see the 100 Best Songs as published in the USAToday Newspaper 6-23-04

 

We Built This City' ranks as the worst record ever
Mon Apr 19, 6:42 AM ET

We Built This City is the single worst single ever constructed, according to Blender's ranking of reeking tunes.

The magazine's list of "The 50 Worst Songs Ever," which hits newsstands Tuesday in New York and Los Angeles and April 27 nationwide, distills the lamest popular rock-era records into one sonic landfill.

Starship's 1985 anthem, the runaway No. 1 stinker, "seems to inspire the most virulent feelings of outrage," editor Craig Marks says. "It purports to be anti-commercial but reeks of '80s corporate-rock commercialism. It's a real reflection of what practically killed rock music in the '80s."

Also sealing the song's fate were Starship's steep fall from grace as the admired Jefferson Airplane and "the sheer dumbness of the lyrics," Marks says.

The May issue, a sequel to the 2003 roundup of history's worst bands, coincides with a Blender/VH1 special, The 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever, which airs May 12.

Harvesting clunkers that range from The Doors' The End to Aqua's Barbie Girl entailed more digging than expected.

Each dud had to be a hit to make the hit list. Though Right Said Fred's I'm Too Sexy got in, such novelties as Macarena and Who Let the Dogs Out, which by design are cheesy, were nixed. The jury also whittled down the bulk of "rotten, excruciatingly bad low-hanging fruit from the '70s," Marks says.

Blender had no qualms about riding herd on sacred cows, inducting The Beatles' Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, R.E.M (news - web sites).'s Shiny Happy People and John Mayer (news)'s Your Body Is a Wonderland. The entry most likely to peeve fans is Simon & Garfunkel's The Sounds of Silence.

"It's the freshman-poetry meaningfulness that got our goat," Marks says. "With self-important lyrics like, 'Hear my words that I might teach you,' it's almost a parody of pretentious '60s folk-rock.

"If Frasier Crane wrote a song, this would be it."

To accommodate coming horrors, the list can't be considered definitive. Noting that Clay Aiken's Invisible landed at No. 11, Marks predicts that "as soon as the American Idol season is finished, there will be a new entry."

Run for Your Life! It’s the 50 Worst Songs Ever!
Some have crap-tastic melodies. Others are wretchedly performed. And quite a few don’t make any sense whatsoever. Blender removes its earplugs to present the 50 tunes we love to hate

By John Aizlewood, Clark Collis, Steve Kandell, Ben Mitchell, Tony Power, James Slaughter, Rob Tannenbaum, Mim Udovitch, Rene Vienet and Jonah Weiner

Blender, May 2004

 

50
CÉLINE DION
“My Heart Will Go On” 1998

And on and on and on…

Lop off all but the first 20 seconds of this monster ballad, and it still merits a slot on this list for the unconscionable crime of adding pan-flute solos to the pop lexicon. But it doesn’t stop there: With a voice full of ornamental quivers and trembles, Canadian dynamo Céline Dion pushes arena-size schmaltz into the red, first cutting her syllables preciously short, then strangling each one out. Never has a song about all-consuming love sounded so trivial and been so inescapable — it powered the Titanic soundtrack to a year-topping 10 million copies sold, and made millions more pray that an iceberg would somehow hit Dion.

Worst Moment The third chorus, where she goes from soft to eye-bleedingly loud.

49
RIGHT SAID FRED
“I’m Too Sexy” 1992

The answer to Spinal Tap’s question “What’s wrong with being sexy?”

Right Said Fred were horrible, bald novelty Brits whose one claim to fame was a song that announced that they were “too sexy” for most things, from “New York” to “my cat.” Alas, singer Richard Fairbrass resembled Midnight Oil’s Peter Garrett, and was therefore “too sexy” for precisely nothing. The song spawned a welter of grating catchphrases starting with “I’m too sexy” repeated endlessly by annoying people: “I’m too sexy for my tractor,” etc. Disturbingly, the Freds, as nobody calls them, are still going.

Worst Moment The so-called chorus, in which, instead of mumbling, Fairbrass tries to sing. Stop it. Stop it now!

48
THE BEATLES
“Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” 1968

You can practically hear them gritting their teeth

The Beatles proved conclusively that there were two things they could not do: play reggae and feign enjoyment. “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” was a ska track recorded at a point during the White Album sessions when the Beatles would happily have beaten one another to death if only they had had some clubs on hand. As a result, this sounds less like reggae than the desperately chirpy songs Cockneys used to sing to keep their spirits up while the Luftwaffe rained death on them during the Blitz.

Worst Moment The woefully unconvincing laughter in the final line: “If you want some fun — heh-heh-heh-heh! — take ob-la-di-bla-da!”

 

47
BRYAN ADAMS
“The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You” 1996

It’s Great-Uncle Disgusting — from Canada!

When Adams chose to do sexy after 15 years of chaste, aw-shucks rockin’, even his fans were stunned — as if they’d just seen a stag film starring Richie Cunningham. “I don’t look good in no Armani suits,” he leered in the song’s only believable moment, before suggesting he’d rather “wear” the song’s female protagonist over a blues riff like someone explaining ZZ Top to an accountant. This wasn’t the creepiest track off his album 18 Til I Die; that accolade goes to a song called “(I Wanna Be) Your Underwear.”

Worst Moment “…There’s only one thing that fits me like it should.” Ick.

 

46
NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK
“Hangin’ Tough” 1989

Boy-band blueprint!

It sucked the Swing out of New Jack, bleached the Blues out of Rhythm &, and featured white boys calling themselves “funky” despite some very unfunky denim vests. This Boston quintet triggered a hormonal rush among 13-year-old girls and intense confusion among their boyfriends, and paved the way for megaselling boy bands who ran low on talent and high on dumb hats. This 1988 hit was all crossed arms and scowls, but the tuff-guy routine didn’t gel: These nancy boys make the Sharks and Jets look like G-Unit.

Worst Moment The boys warn: “Don’t cross our path or you’re gonna get stomped!” Scary!

 

45
JA RULE FEAT. ASHANTI
“Mesmerize” 2002

The most hated man in hip-hop — for good reason!

Many rappers sing poorly, but none as irritatingly as Jeffrey Atkins. In 2001, he went from a raise-da-roof club grunter who treated women like car doors to a tone-deaf warbler who swore he worshiped them — and cried in his videos to prove it. On this 2002 duet with the reliably transparent Ashanti, he can’t contain his horny side, repeating a cracked-voiced mantra about “Your lips/Your smile/Your hips/Those thighs” and admitting his “fetish for fucking you with your skirt on.” Gains points for honesty; loses many more for coming off like an ogling doofus.

Worst Moment The two-note chorus, which is a laundry list of female body parts.

44
MEAT LOAF
“I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)” 1993

Bitch-titted balladeer seeks dictionary

Forget that this song comes from Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell and that pop albums can’t really have sequels. Forget that it’s 12 minutes — and crammed with pianos, choirs and every over-the-top adornment that producer Jim Steinman could get his hands on, it feels twice that length. No, this epic chunk of histrionics’ worst offense is that it doesn’t make any sense. You wouldn’t do what, exactly? It’s OK for rock songs to be dumb. But not stupid.

Worst Moment Shamelessly aping “Paradise by the Dashboard Light,” the boy-girl duet kicks in at around the nine-minute mark.

 

43
UNCLE KRACKER
“Follow Me” 2000

Sleaze-rap DJ goes solo, blows like Hootie

Breaking out on his own, the leading light of Kid Rock’s “Detroit playas” reneges on his boss’s promise to “cause chaos” and “rock like Amadeus.” He does, however, cause nausea and rock like Muzak with his nobody-saw-it-coming lite-FM stylings, hummin’, strummin’ and practically promisin’ to tuck you in at night. The unexpected bonus? It gives hope to everyone awaiting the Terminator X collection of Air Supply covers.

Worst Moment Knowing every rhyme before it happens — the first time you hear the song.

 

42
SIMON & GARFUNKEL
“The Sounds of Silence” 1965

If Frasier Crane were a song, he would sound like this

From the terrible opening line, in which darkness is addressed as “my old friend,” the lyrics of “The Sounds of Silence” sound like a vicious parody of a pompous and pretentious mid-’60s folk singer. But it’s no joke: While a rock band twangs aimlessly in the middle distance, Simon & Garfunkel thunder away in voices that suggest they’re scowling and wagging their fingers as they sing. The overall experience is like being lectured on the meaning of life by a jumped-up freshman.

Worst Moment “Hear my words that I might teach you”: Officially the most self-important line in rock history!

 

41
BILLY JOEL
“We Didn’t Start the Fire” 1989

Can you fit a cultural history of the twentieth century into four minutes? Uh, no

Despite its bombastic production, “We Didn’t Start the Fire” resembles a term paper scribbled the night before it’s due. As the song progresses, Joel audibly realizes he can’t cram it all in: The ’70s get four bellowed words amid the widdly-woo guitars and meet-thy-maker drums. The chorus denies responsibility for any events mentioned, clearing up the common misconception that Billy Joel developed the H-bomb.

Worst Moment “China’s under martial law, rock & roller cola wars!”: No way does conflating Tiananmen Square with Michael Jackson selling Pepsi trivialize a massacre.

 

40
COLOR ME BADD
“I Wanna Sex You Up” 1991

Small-penis alert!

These Oklahoma R&B smoothies looked like rejects from a Benetton ad and sounded like flunkies from the Keith Sweat School of Horny Jamz. This is one long string of fake falsetto moans — there’s more heat in an Herbal Essences commercial — and the imagery ranges from perplexing (“We can do it till we both wake up”) to downright unpleasant (“Makin’ love until we drown”). Not recommended for the bedroom, unless your bedroom also features leopard-print picture frames, mirrored ceilings and a five-gallon tub of Astroglide from Costco.

Worst Moment Toward the end, la-la-la’s creep in under whispered phrases like “Lay back and enjoy the ride.”
 

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